We were all 18 once

Remember being 18?
When the words "boner" and "dong" were so funny they elicited laughter?
When watching porn made you uncomfortable, so you'd laugh to cover it up?
When you thought you knew EVERYTHING?
When you thought you could be in charge?
when...

*sigh*
Those were the good ol days.

Now we're smarter.
We're smart enough to know that it's impolite to mock people's porn preferences.
Smart enough to realize when we're making an ass of ourselves.
Smart enough to know when no one thinks we're being funny.

But these 18 year olds that come into my store...
They think they are entitled to everything.

For one, they are more than proud to show off their IDs, as a way of validating their value in society.
Wow, you're 18, so grown up! When do you graduate high school?

Secondly, they think they are the only people in the store. Either that, or they're trying to be noticed. Either way, they're loud. And irritating.

Third, they're so damned suspicious! I hate doing it, but I keep a close eye on these youngsters. They think they can get away with anything. And they will, unless someone scares them enough to behave.

They think they're smoooooth shit. Hi, I'm 23, I've been nothing but a bitch to you since you got here, AND I've told you to shut up or leave. And now you're hitting on me...you're a winner.

To them, things like "Pussy Pleasers" or "Ball Separators" require rolling laughter. Not only did I tell them to be quiet, they told ME to be quiet. Maternal instincts in tact, I threatened to pull them out of the store by their ears. They reminded me that doing so would be considered harassment. Well aren't you just so smart?

Personal space is not an idea they've wrapped their heads around.

Farting and belching are awarded with high fives.

Asking me personal information is sacred. Well the information is, if I give it to you.

In short, I didn't kick these kids out because my paying customers had left, and they were the only ones left. Had there been anyone else, their asses would have been on the pavement. They also bought "Thick," which is a penis-thickening cream. So not only are they annoying, they have needle dicks.

They'll grow up some day.


Keep your batteries charged! ~Alice