Gross Dildos (a public service courtesy of your local sex shop employee)

At my store (which shall remain anonymous), we sell toys for all walks of life. We have vibrators that range from 6 dollars (The Shane's World hard plastic vibrator) to 150 big ones (Couture Collection medical-grade silicone dual-motor vibrator). They range from hard to squishy, from whisper-quiet to unknown decibels, from phallic to animalistic, from itty-bitty to monstrous (See: Belladonna's Banger), and everything in between.

Materials range from medical grade silicone and plastic to glass, aluminum, and stainless steel. They tend to be a little more pricey. The softer materials are usually made of TPR, TPE, PVC, and other 3-letter acronyms that I have no clue of their meaning, and tend to be on the "more affordable" side.

Some people have been mis-educated in the ways of these materials. Certain people won't even touch a package unless what is inside is non-porous (hard plastic, silicone, aluminum, stainless steel, glass...) because they have been told that these materials are POISON and will cause CANCER!!! This is all thanks to Oprah and certain public services of snooty sex shops.

These materials are generally safe and hygienic (provided they are cleaned on a regular basis and don't go from the brown to the pink). I have no problem recommending these products to customers as long as I inform people of the maintenance required.

However, in SOME of these materials, a chemical is added to give it some extra squish. These chemicals, known as Phthlates, have been known to cause cell damage in lab rats. (See: POISON!!! OH NO!!!)

Seriously? Lab rats? Any PEOPLE ever come forward and complain of cell damage? If you hear of any, let me know.

I did some research on these Phthlates to see if they were indeed as horrible as some people say they are (they have been referred to as "poison" by some of the more yuppie shops in the area), because if they truly are harmful, why the hell would companies continue to use them?
The studies do indeed show cell damage from long-term exposure in lab rats, but they are injecting these chemicals directly into the bloodstreams of these animals. ANY chemical would cause cell damage if injected in that volume directly into the bloodstream.

Are you putting your vibrator into your blood? No? Then I think you're fine.

In order to detect these phthlates, just take a whiff. That common "plastic" smell is caused by the added phthlates.

We come into contact with these EVERY DAY, SEVERAL TIMES! It's not like using a vibrator one time will give you cancer.

The studies suggested some places where phthlates show up: Household tupperware, rubbermade containers, shower curtains, some children's toys, laundry baskets, plastic bags, and anywhere else that plastic needs some extra flexibility. Never in any of these studies did they mention the "dangers" of sex toys that include these chemicals.

It might, on the other hand, give you a nice rash if you're allergic to the material, similar to one caused by a latex allergy. If you buy this product without knowing if you're allergic or not, that is not my fault!

The gross thing about these phthlates is that they STINK! Sometimes the smell is so strongly it can give me a headache. The smell ranges from "kind of plastic-y" to "I do believe this was sprayed by a skunk..."
But, after a while, the harmful part of the chemical goes away (go ahead, sniff your shower curtain, I'm sure it's vapors are gone).

Products that contain Phthlates are not "bad," but I tend to recommend something else if a customer has picked out a toy containing the material. If THAT is the toy the customer wants, I usually warn him/her of the possible side effects of using said toy. To avoid any of these, I recommend they be washed a few times with liquid soap (I recommend all-natural dish soap or baby shampoo, as these don't contain additives that will break down the material or leave residue behind), and soaked in HOT soapy water for a few hours to get the initial smell off. After that, use a condom with it until the smell fades away.

In the common occurrence that customers don't even WANT my help, I go ahead and allow them to buy a gross stinky toy that might give them a rash or yeast infection. That's what you get for being too shy to talk to a friendly sales associate to pick out a decent vibrator.

Keep your batteries charged! ~Alice